It’s Almost September

It’s almost September, and I’m looking forward to the weather changing. I like cool, crisp fall mornings. I love sweaters and scarves and walking through crunchy leaves on sidewalks. I love when the leaves change colors and there are patches of yellows and swathes of oranges. I love pumpkins and hot cider, love hayrides and trick or treating.

I suppose it’s a little odd to be writing about fall when it’s supposed to be 83 degrees here today. It is still August, after all. I guess I just need something to look forward to, and all of those little things are things that make me smile.

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My Small Life

One of my favorite movies is You’ve Got Mail. I’ve written about it before, but I’ll say it again. I’m obsessed with writing letters, with connecting with someone through the written word. I wrote a friend of mine the other day, and I quoted that movie. These lines in particular seem to describe me too:

“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

This is me too. I’m cloistered, withdrawn. I have difficulty connecting with people in person. I suppose that writing letters is a way for me to communicate that is not quite so scary as communicating in person, and there is always time to allow an idea to percolate before having to share it. Sometimes I wish I lived a grander life, an exciting life, but I don’t.

I shop at little farm stands. The librarians know me by name. I know the one lane bridges on tiny country roads. I walk alongside the corn fields and pick wildflowers. I like baking pies. I know all these things about myself, but sometimes I still wonder who I am. I feel like the me that’s deep inside is the me that matters, and I can’t quite get her to come out of hiding.