My Small Life

One of my favorite movies is You’ve Got Mail. I’ve written about it before, but I’ll say it again. I’m obsessed with writing letters, with connecting with someone through the written word. I wrote a friend of mine the other day, and I quoted that movie. These lines in particular seem to describe me too:

“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

This is me too. I’m cloistered, withdrawn. I have difficulty connecting with people in person. I suppose that writing letters is a way for me to communicate that is not quite so scary as communicating in person, and there is always time to allow an idea to percolate before having to share it. Sometimes I wish I lived a grander life, an exciting life, but I don’t.

I shop at little farm stands. The librarians know me by name. I know the one lane bridges on tiny country roads. I walk alongside the corn fields and pick wildflowers. I like baking pies. I know all these things about myself, but sometimes I still wonder who I am. I feel like the me that’s deep inside is the me that matters, and I can’t quite get her to come out of hiding.

2 responses to “My Small Life

  1. “sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave?” ~ Wow, that one hits home… ~ Awesome post. Your description of your life, how you spend your days, sounds really great to me. And, yes, that “connecting” you speak of…is like air to me.

  2. I don’t know, you sound pretty beautiful to me. I don’t know where you live, I’m in America and I think the whole notion “they” (i.e. society as a whole in general here) use of “beauty” is all wrong. Define it for yourself (I would humbly suggest), don’t let anyone else define it for you. I could be way off, I don’t know you and I’ve only read two posts, however, you sound way too beautiful to allow somebody else to take that away. It would be a shame.

    Ps – I found your blog through “ghostinthewalls” blog. Glad I did.

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