I’ve never been particularly good at pretending to be someone I’m not. I’ve always had this streak of honesty that can be, I’ll admit it, embarrassing at times. It’s made me careful who I surround myself with and also very protective of the personal details of my life.
There are only a few people who know that I’m unhappy in my marriage. There are only a few people who know that I plan on leaving. It’s this glaring omission to me. It makes me feel like a liar, even though I feel like I’m doing what’s right for me right now.
I’m in therapy, where I talk about leaving, among other things. I wish I didn’t feel so alone in this. I feel like I’ll be hurting so many people by leaving. I feel like I’ll hurt my kids. I know I will. And my H will be devastated. I feel like my family will be disappointed in me too. I feel so alone.